English Is A Funny Language Essay Ideas

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There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple...
Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?
One index, two indices?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
.English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.

How can 'slim chance and a fat chance' be the same, while ' wise man and a wise guy' are opposites?




Now i know why i failed in english.

It's not my fault but the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going

yours;
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
I know these interesting facts-thanks for sharing[Y]
Languages are really not like mathematics!!
really it's unknown langauge

thanx so much for great topic

mskt
Thank you for a lot of laughs! You're right. It's much funnier (and stranger) than English speakers usually realize. I especially liked the lines about the vegetarian/humanitarian and the alarm clock that goes off by going on.
John_jeniand a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

I used to think guinea pig was a pig from Guinea.

your topic is right 100%,
But I think this is cute in some time
i think with that kind of an imagination the person who failed you was a dud.
Pretty amazing and smart actually!...

There must be a reason for that and only english historians can explain it. I think these kind of paradoxes in English language exist in other languages as well!

I am an Arab, and in Arabic we do have these kind of funny "strange" expressions! I think it is kind of sense-of-humor or trickiness whatever applicable, isn't?

Cheers....

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Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with reproductive function innuendo and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

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Let's face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as h*ll one day and cold as h*ll another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

Now I know why I flunked my English. It's not my fault -- the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going.

        ... Ravi Pillutla ravi@repairfaq.org

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